Ashley Keleher

As we embrace a new year, I find myself working on goals and aspirations for the year but feel hesitant on making them public. Listen, I totally get it that when you put your goals out there you risk the universe knowing if you failed. I also completely understand and can accept that when you post something it makes it more ‘official’ and sometimes we aren’t fully ready to commit. But when you grow as a person and want to further develop yourself to be a better you, should you really hold back because you may get judged by your social circle and network? 

I have grown and evolved a lot over the last several years both professionally and personally. I have learned what I’m interested in, what I’m passionate about and what really drives me. Sounds great right? It actually really is. I have finally found what I love and have grown tremendously as a person because of it. OK so you might be asking then, what’s the problem? I protect my new goals and aspirations because I fear my network isn’t going to like who I’ve become – and I know, I’m not alone on this. Even worse, I am hesitant about sharing big achievements or milestones because I don’t want to upset anyone. Tell me I’m not alone here. What I’ve found recently, especially with the growth of social media, is that there are things that as I grow as a person I want to share within my social network but I am more hesitant about showing my excitement and enjoyment for new things when I don’t feel like my social circle will value or respect those new things. I’ve noticed that, and this may be just my social circle, but I feel that there’s a lot of time where there are things that I am passionate about and instead of having a social network that is a cheerleader to my new challenges they are pessimistic and try to bring me down. SO, what I want to talk about in this article today and hopefully help motivate and inspire US is taking charge and putting yourself first. I want To help you and guide you in putting yourself first both professionally and personally and having the confidence even if it’s not within the normal realm to do what you love and what you enjoy. 

OK so hear me out, do you ever notice that when you get put in a situation where, as an example, you have a really big passion towards fitness and you’re working towards a big target. You are putting in early morning training sessions to ensure you are going to achieve the goals you set out to achieve. You get asked by friends to go out for a late night of drinking and you feel in those moments that its more appropriate to take up the night of drinking and sacrifice your goals because of what is classified as “normal” in your circle. Imagine in your professional career wanting to go after a new role at work that is outside anything you’ve ever done before -OR anything anyone in your circle would ever even dream of doing. Would you consider not going after the job just because it’s not something everyone else you know wouldn’t do? And if you do follow those dreams and take the risk, do you downplay your achievements ? 

I’m learning more and more that I need to put myself first and stop sacrificing my goals for others. I’m going to be proud of my achievements and I’m going to start being more comfortable sharing the things I’m truly passionate about. I accept that sometimes in life people will grow apart because they no longer have the same interests. I recently heard something that really resonated with me; “identify the traits of a person that you want to surround yourself with and become that person. Because when you become that person you will attract somebody who is in the same level as you.” When I heard this, I realized that the reason that I was so concerned about the things I was concerned about was because I was surrounding myself with people that didn’t have the same drive and passions as I did and didn’t want to jeopardize relationships by growing in a different direction. 

It’s time to have the uncomfortable conversations. Go after your goals – share what you are passionate about! Become the person you want to be.  This is the person that will make you happy, and this is the person that will attract like minded people. If you type in google “how to be” – see what the first thing is that shows up in the search! Why is happiness something we are so cautious about sharing ?  I’m telling you – follow those dreams and don’t be afraid to share what you love! You might actually be surprised with what happens. 

I will leave you with one final note; a positive mindset will attract positive things to happen. A negative mindset will attract negative things to happen. If you want a positive response, to be surrounded by positive people and desire positive outcomes – consider changing your mindset. Stop worrying about the people who aren’t happy for you!